Have a Heart

Heart of Gold

Today was an annual increase in age event! HaPpY BiRtHdAy Me!

If you’re curious about my age – it’s 29 + tax, postage, handling & insurance…..that’d make it around 47 ;o) Cool huh?

Gotta say this much – it’s a boat load better than being 27, in oh so many ways!
When we are young & hear parents or older friends & so on say “I wish I knew then, what I know now” – we think “yeah sure you do – you just want to feel good about being OLD!”. What we don’t realise is that they do feel good about being older. It’s not so much a case of knowledge, experience, wisdom gained – although all of those have been & do matter, but rather it’s a sense of self. It’s a difficult thing to define – but you know it when you get there….many (like myself) think they are ‘there’ in their late 20’s – little realising that they have yet another decade to go.

I did have a couple of things I would have liked to celebrate my birthday doing, small things really – lining my printers tray ready for my bead display, torching & making up a very special bead into a necklace. However typical weekend life got in the way …. Including the girls squabbling over who was going to use the computer – more than once. That will keep.

So how did I celebrate? I changed my earrings – ROFL!
I kid you not – this is a big thing for me. I have a pair or earrings that quite simply I live in, as they are so comfortable yet effective. They are a second favorite pair – I lost one of my original pair a week or so after we moved into this house. I was gutted (I cried like a baby when I realised!) – so I borrowed my daughter’s plainer version, but they’re just not the same. These earrings were a special gift - & without fail at least once a week someone would comment on them.

Mum arrived fully armed & equipped for dinner – bring the main contenders (in my book anyway) of stuffing for the chicken we were roasting & Chocolate Roulade & Mandarin Mousse for desert. Calling out & wondering where I was – I called down the stairs “I’m celebrating my birthday” – don’t know what she expected when I waltzed down – perhaps a dye job or a makeover – but she laughed when I told her I had changed my earrings!

All in all it’s been a very mellow day (apart from aforementioned daughters) – I’ve spent time chatting online with a dear friend, whom I’ve promised to send some stuffing & desert & an ex workmate called & wished me Happy Birthday & we had a bit of a catch up. A nice meal, a bit of TV (& teasing of a certain cats!)& then revisiting an early birthday present that the lovely Ms M sent me a wee while ago. Here I’m showing the lovely treasure woven bracelet– but there was more, all orange :o)
Every time I look at this bracelet – Divines “Cha Cha Heels” starts playing itself in my head…. I love it! Showing my age??? Well - good!
Someone knows that orange is my favorite colour!

Ms M – check your inbox, stuffing & desert await!
Allan – next time you mumble “so what do you want for your birthday” …the answer is in this blog post ;o) ….or a dog!

Treasure Woven Birthday Bracelet

Rosebud101

Sunday Photo's

Ms M's wonderful orange glassy goodness...a fish, a heart, a big ass straight sided lentil & a beautiful veiled cane winged heart in not one but two shades of orange!

Michaela - her turn at the keyboard! Please Note: to a teenager - multi tasking involves chat AND a telephone glued to your ear.

Winding up da Kitty

Still winding up da Kitty....Bizkit won !

What's not to Love

Christchurch City Sunrise

The other night as I sat here listening to the gentle hum of my Hard Drive…well ok it’s not so gentle, in fact it is irritatingly loud…but hey I was trying to wax lyrical.

So let’s pretend that my Hard Drive, which at times gets a vibration thing going that can only be compared to the roar of a Hot Head as opposed to the quite background noise of a dual fuel torch – is quite.
To some it would be considered quiet ….members of a Heavy Metal Band for instance.

Back on track: – a couple of nights ago I was sitting here at 2.00am in the morning, pondering the meaning of life, the universe & everything (glass, beads & LE, silver jewelry components). I suddenly realised why it is that I hang around so long after everyone else goes to bed….the total lack of sound, the blissful silence – the pure unadulterated PEACE. Being able to think uninterrupted thoughts – map out idea’s while they are fresh in my mind, before sleep & then the subsequent early morning rush intrudes & erases them.

Not that many years ago I used to do almost everything at night – often knit or sew right through until the sun rose. I’d read books until they were finished & the birds were chirping away merrily. Any decorating was done after everyone was in bed & out of my way…. & I’ve lost count of how many Birthday Cakes I’ve still been icing at 4.00am.

Maybe I should try making beads at night – watch the sunrises, be inspired, capture thoughts & idea’s in the peace of early morning before I get the kids off to school & the house empties so I can sleep during the day. What's not to love about that?
I know I’m not a morning person - & really there is nothing to stop me if I want to.
Perhaps I shall think on this some more……

Yes We Have No Banana's

Random Behaviour

Strange title for a blog post - I know, but it pretty much sums up my mood right now....strange. It's almost as if I'm in limbo - waiting for something to happen, yet knowing it's not going to. The attention span of a gnat & a distinct lack of focus (which 'could' be attributed to a lack of coffee - if only I didn't know the opposite were true), a feeling of being a bit stir crazy & just generally unsettled. Maybe it's subliminal messages from listening to an eclectic assortment of teenage music when the girls get home from school - lol!

Maybe it's just winter when I usually tend to hibernate - even though that temptation hasn't been evident this year I still know I am slowing down in accomplishing things - but then I blame that on the lack of focus. Maybe it's just the thought of an anual increase in age event - or should that be non event.

Any which way - when I came across this bead which was photographed & named last week ready to be posted to this blog (see what I mean?) - it became apparent that this 'mood' has been lingering for longer than I thought.

What's happened to all the exotic names that normally pop into my head when I look at a bead - ahh that's it, I think they are hibernating for winter.
Anyway - I think this is a rather nice bead, probably deserving of a better name than it has been given. But I'm sure it will get over it - as will I ;o)

Confessions of a Hopeless Romantic

Ang’s comment on my last blog entry got me to thinking ….which always a bad thing believe me – I have one of those minds that wanders off of it’s own accord & in it’s own direction – before you know it, it’s miles away from wherever it started & can’t find it’s own way back….at least not without the help of copious amounts of coffee!
See – off track already!

Anyway, what I had started thinking about was, Ang’s comment about Jayne’s intriguing name for her necklace – & as I was typing a response to her comment my mind did a backward flip to exactly what it reminded me of – some of the wonderful lush graphics in the only PC game I have ever purchased for myself! “Pharaoh” & it’s extension pack “Cleopatra” were an early favourite of mine on the computer - & to be honest more for the theme & the graphics, as I never did display any great skill at building villages & such (I think I got as far as an early Pyramid ….once).

My priorities weren’t always right – I could eventually improve my homes from crude huts to impressive mansions, but I got far too easily distracted by putting the fun & pretty stuff all over my cities. “Ohhhhh statues, gardens” & “oh my….bazaars” - shopping! Then of course I’d forget to feed my people & even when I did remember something else would be waiting to claim them such as plagues of locusts, famine or fire.

Ahh there was life before glass!

However, to make more sense of “Thor (you know him - Norse God of Thunder) meets Cleopatra” (she, ruler of Egypt, & of asp & beauty fame) I decided to post the photo of the original bead & the sort of thing I imagine inspired Jayne’s wonderful piece which concluded with this inter-dimensional marriage ;o)
Intriguing indeed!

Psst Ang if you read this – did you realise that “Isis” was Cleopatra’s patron Goddess – given that she’s the Goddess of Wisdom I suspect she may be yours too!

WoW- just WoW !

"Thor meets Cleopatra"

Jaynez Jewelz

Sometimes you are just cruising along quietly, minding your own business - a bit like playing Poohsticks....when something comes along & blows your particular stick out of the water! In a good way!

A while ago a first time customer bought some beads off of me via an auction site here in New Zealand. Jayne was lovely to deal with - the perfect customer in fact & asked if I had any business cards as she liked to give credit to bead creators when she made a piece. At the time I didn't have any business cards on hand - but I had just placed my very first order for some. I duly sent her a few when they arrived.

She had mentioned that she was going to enter a piece using one of my beads in her creation into a competition. Over time I forgot about this - too busy with my head buried in glass & life in general.... it just slipped my mind.

Friday last week I got an email from the website here that was running the competition - "Beadaholic NZ" . I was a little confused as I had never joined the mailing list there. Of course when I read the email my memory was jogged about the first ever “New Zealand National Creative Jewellery Making & Beading Designer Awards”.

Still confused (it's easy - believe me!) about why I was getting the email I curiously clicked the link to see what the results were & what sort of items had been submitted.

Happily scrolling down the page with gentle sighs of oohhhhh & ahhhhhhh at the beauties displayed .....& that there were those out there that have the patience (& the eyesight) to play with seed beads & such - I suddenly stopped in my tracks & let out a squeal!

OMG there was Jayne's, "Jaynes Jewelz" , lovely set "Thor meets Cleopatra" - did I say lovely? - it is STUNNING, & to be honest the set stopped me before I realised who had made it & what significance it had to me - it's just my kind of thing!

Jayne had indeed given me credit & then some, for the small part my beads played in her piece - but mainly I am so very thrilled for her in that she won the "Creative Merit" prize that she did.

Of course now I know why I got the email too - lol!

Imitation - the Highest Form of Flattery......

"Winged Isis Egyptian Goddess"

AngelinaBeadalina

Every so often, well - quite frequently really, a thread will come up on LE about copying. Now while it is all very interesting & sometimes aspects of it are realtively valid in certain instances, I personally feel that it's not worth get all hung up over. Far better to put ones energies into creating, rather than debating.

One particular lady on LE, an artist whom I very much admire not only for her gorgeous glass creations & sculptures but also for her wonderful insight & brilliant words of wisdom is AngelinaBeadalina (or Angie or Ang - lol), summed up the whole issue perfectly:

We each make our own footprint in glass. If you look ahead of you, there will be the footprints of those who came before you. You will notice their footprints crossing over one another, sometimes landing in the same space even though they've come from different directions and once again diverge and follow different paths. If you look behind you, there will be the footprints of those coming behind you. You will notice some that appear to follow you, but if you put yourself in the shoes of the people ahead of you, then you realize that to them it may look as if you are merely following in their footsteps. You will also notice those behind you moving at different speeds and in many different directions. We are each making our own footprints, but you'll notice it is inevitable that all the ground as far as you can see before you and behind will become covered with footprints. Before you assume someone else is following your path to closely, better look at your own from a different perspective. . . just because your feet have landed momentarily in the same spot does not make either of you owner of that spot.

No one owns a piece of the path, no matter how heavily or lightly trodden it might be. Just enjoy the walk!
Oh, and a few other thoughts that could come from this loose analogy:

--If you have made some superduperspecial bulldozer to clear part of the path, don't forget that someone ahead of you probably used a different version of it somewhere along the line. Feel proud of your work, but it might be arrogant to assume no one else in history has ever used the same type of idea. Also, remember that just because you moved part of the path still does not give you ownership of the path itself.

--If you pay someone to guide you along a new or difficult part of the path for you, show them respect and thank them for their help. If you take money from someone for guiding them along a part of the path you know well, show them respect and thank them for trusting you. Both of you should remember that neither of you owns the path.

--Remember that babies learn to walk partly by observing others and partly by trying to walk themselves.

--If you always ride piggyback, certain things will happen: you may never learn to walk by yourself again; or you may get a needed break and then walk stronger; or you may only succeed in hurting the back of the one who carries you while simultaneously deepening their footprint. Still, no matter what happens with the footprints, neither of you will be able to claim that part of the path as your own.

--If someone alongside you could use a hand as they traverse the path, please be kind. You never know when you will need their hand in return.

--This path really is a wonderful one. You share it with many wonderful people. Share it, enjoy it, glory in it .

~~X~~

Be sure to check out Ang's blog & her gallery at BeadArtists.org - both are well worth adding to your favorite places to hang out!

True Treasures

Black & White Treasure Woven Bracelet

Rosebud101

There are many things I treasure, collections of shells & pebbles found on beaches over the years, my childhood memories & those of my children, special moments & time shared with family, time spent in front of the torch, peace & quiet (especially the uninterrupted sort when there is absolutely nothing I should be doing) & of course friendships.

Joining a recent exchange on LE for Treasure Woven Bracelets - I couldn't have been more thrilled, when the draw for who was making a bracelet for whom resulted in Mallory (Rosebud101) making mine.

When asked for my colour choice I suggested "Black & White". I figured everyone would be expecting me to say 'orange' as I had already put it forward it as a likely contender upon joining the exchange when listing my preferences, but the rebel in me kicked in - lol!

Afterwards I realised that poor Mallory had probably been looking forward to creating something a little more vibrant.
But hey - I like Black & White - it has a certain panache to it1
So does Mallory.

That wonderful lady managed to impart some of her brilliant vibrant & enthusiastic personality into my bracelet, taking Black & White to places I imagine it has never been before. No formal line up of beads here my friends - rather a fantastic selection of wonderfully individual handmade components that literally shouts 'look at me' to all who see it! It is simply perfect.

Now I have a bracelet full of treasures, made by someone whose friendship I treasure dearly. I think this personifies a Treasure Bracelet.

There were a few other surprises in the box - but they are for a later brag ;o) ....
oops! I mean blog.

Eye of the Dragon

"Eye of the Dragon"

This week that has flown by far too fast!! In fact I feel it should be given a ticket for excessive speed in a built up area ;o)

Going back to work for three days has left me with little time for torching & deal with other things soon ate that time up - quick smart!

A fabulous occurance came from going back to work though - so I can't get too eaten up about my lack of torch time this week.

I finally found the courage, after some gentle nudging from a friend, to post a bead in the daily Show & Tell on LampworkEtc. This is no small task - as often you find the best of the best that the international lampworking community has to offer displayed in the daily 'S&T's".

That posting resulted in my selling the bead directly to a client who came into work - one minute we were discussing the difficulty of pricing ones own work, the next she was wanting to see what I made. I showed her the thread - she spotted my bead while I was still scrolling & stopped me with a "WOW - I love that one" . When I told her that was my bead I was greeted with "I want it - it's beautiful". The rest, as they say is history - I'm just hoping it's history in the making!

Challenges in Many Forms

One of the places I like to hang out for a bit (usually accompanied by a coffee) is an online forum for lampworkers - LampworkEtc.
When I say for 'a bit' - I mean so many things. A bit of inspiration, a bit information or to meet the occasional challenge, then again there are the exchanges (my main way of challenging myself to learn something new) & last but not least there has been, at times, quite a bit of fun.

I have met many wonderful, talented & extremely helpful people through both exchanges & challenges - some of whom have encouraged me to push my limits & forget about such things as what is possible or achievable, & instead just go for it & 'do'.

The first example of this is pictured below - the result of a weekly challenge themed around 'Hats' - not one to shirk my responsibility in having a bit of fun while I'm at something....

''The Cat in The Hat''

and of course I thought this was somewhat related to my last post - so worth sharing...but then again I have been wrong before ;o)

I may have omitted mentioning

Two Beads were born that day. Upon seeing the second bead - it's name was a given. It really named itself.

"The Zax"

The Zax

By Dr Suess

One day, making tracks

In the prairie of Prax,

Came a North-Going Zax

And a South-Going Zax.

And it happened that both of them came to a place

Where they bumped. There they stood.

Foot to foot. Face to face.

"Look here, now!" the North-Going Zax said, "I say!

You are blocking my path.

You are right in my way.

I'm a North-Going Zax and I always go north.

Get out of my way, now, and let me go forth!"

"Who's in whose way?" snapped the South-Going Zax.

"I always go south, making south-going tracks.

So you're in MY way! And I ask you to move

And let me go south in my south-going groove."

Then the North-Going Zax puffed his chest up with pride.

"I never," he said, "take a step to one side.

And I'll prove to you that I won't change my ways

If I have to keep standing here fifty-nine days!"

"And I'll prove to YOU," yelled the South-Going Zax,

"That I can stand here in the prairie of Prax

For fifty-nine years! For I live by a rule

That I learned as a boy back in South-Going School.

Never budge! That's my rule. Never budge in the least!

Not an inch to the west! Not an inch to the east!

I'll stay here, not budging! I can and I will

If it makes you and me and the whole world stand still!"

Well...Of course the world didn't stand still.

The world grew.

In a couple of years, the new highway came through

And they built it right over those two stubborn Zax

And left them there, standing un-budged in their tracks.

Didn't Dr Suess know how to give a lesson, a valueable one remembered even many years later. The Zax is a lesson in compromise. Something I am learning to do in glass - as in life.

Ode to Hundertwasser

Ode to Hundertwasser

Ever had one of those days when things don’t seem to go quite according to plan?
Whose plan they aren’t going according to is questionable at the best of times, I feel – but I am talking about the days when we have a firm idea of what we would like to achieve.

Unfortunately – or fortunately, depending on how you look at it, my loosely conceived ideas seem to take on life of their own & are accompanied by crystal clear images inside my head.
Usually these mental images are far above what my skills & the techniques I’ve acquired so far as a flame worker are capable of attaining. Of course this doesn’t stop me trying.
Sometimes the results are not at all similar to that which I had hoped to achieve - & I look upon the bead with disappointment, but often find in there at least something to recommend it.

I set out to make a bead (once again) with abstract flowers on it – not minding too much if they looked like something from outer space, in fact kind of hoping they would.
Once again (can you tell I have tried this before?) I managed to get everything a little too hot & a lot too flattened. Once again a feeling of disappointment the next morning when I removed it from the kiln. As I was cleaning it I realised that it was one of those beads that had a certain feel to it. It seemed to grow on me over the next few days & the initial disappointment went away.

A friend visited, saw it & passed the comment “that reminds me of a Hundertwasser painting”. She was right – it was Hundertwasser’ish. Strange that the minute that bead had something real to identify with & be compared to, away from the preconceived image in my mind, I no longer felt that I had failed in what I had been attempting to achieve – yet again fallen short of my own expectations. Rather I had taken another step towards finding my own voice in glass.

A Star is Born

"Eta Carina"

Wednesday evening was cold here in Christchurch. You could certainly feel Winter's imminent arrival. At 1 degree celcius (33.8 degree's fahrenheit) - I would have far rather been seated behind my torch, nice & warm - or even in front of the TV....anywhere, rather than outside traveling through dark rural roads with a car full of giggling teenage school girls & a 10 year old, on my way to the middle of nowhere to look at stars.

Such is life! A last minute thing, when the other parent that was going to take them got sick, meant that I had left home slighty stressed (I do like to know where I'm headed - especially in the dark!) - without a chance to look up a map, but with the assurance that there was a map on the back of the form the other parent had - all ready for me when I arrived to pick up the two girls from that point. It wasn't a detailed map!

We headed out of the city, already late - a stop at an ATM machine for one of the girls ensured we were even later. The country roads were dark - half of the signs couldn’t be seen in the headlights & each cross road I passed, I feared was the one I should have turned down.....so we'd stop, turn on the interior light & double check. We finally got there 12 minutes late - we only knew we were at the right place by the cars all parked in the middle of nowhere, but there was no other sign of life....at all!

Once out of the car it was pitch black - we couldn't even see where the gate was. Eventually we fumbled our way in - judging we had approached the driveway by the crunch of gravel under our feet.
When we got to the building, which was lit by a single red light (I know!) I realised I had left my wallet in the car! I herded the girls still giggling inside to be assigned to groups & made my way back to the car. I was actually quite scared - that's how dark & quiet it was. Once back I joined the smallest group along with Gabriela & we let the big girls pretend they didn't know us ;o)

One look up to the heavens told me all I needed to know – The Milky Way in all of it’s glory, with the beautiful Southern Cross twinkling brightly – oh my! That alone was worth it – you just don’t realise how much you miss in the city with it’s bright lights reflecting & dimming the view, it was superb!

The first thing we got to look at through the 10” telescope was a cluster. To the naked eye this appears as a star just to the right of the Southern Cross. Called the ‘Jewel Box’ (Kappa Crucis) it is in the Crux Constellation & was a sight to behold!
Next on the agenda was Omega Centauri – a cluster of stars in the Constellation of Centaurus – pretty darn special when it is nothing more than a dim & distant twinkle to the naked eye. We were indeed fortunate, as these first two can only be seen from the Southern Hemisphere – so it’s makes it extremely special to get to see first hand what a large portion of the world won’t ever see with the naked eye or through a telescope, but only one film - which I now realise in no way prepares you for the feeling of standing there & viewing first hand.
One of the last stars we got to look at was through a 12” telescope, ‘Eta Carinae’ – in the Carina Costellation. Expected to become a super nova in the near future, it was different to the clusters we had looked at, being a nebula it is a star being born. If others hadn’t been waiting I could have stood transfixed at the end of that telescope for hours – feeling so tiny in the grand scheme of things, hugely humbled by the immensity of all that is beyond this earthly existence & the planet we inhabit.

Last on the list (well for me anyway) was a view that stunned everyone who looked through the 14” telescope – a small distant twinkle that when you put your eye to the piece became a huge yellowish rusty brown ball with a ring around it – Saturn in all of it’s magnificent glory! While waiting we had no idea what we were going to see – but the intakes of breath & utterances of ‘oh WOW’ that came from each as they took their turn pretty much gave those of us waiting a hint that what ever it was going to be was pretty spectacular! It was. There really are no adequate words to describe the feeling…at all.

For me that was the end of the night – I managed to put my leg down a rather deep hole (well it was DARK - & I was pleased that it was right at that point) & felt my ankle click out of place as it hit the bottom & went over on it’s side. Any light headedness felt after that was not the result of looking at the heavens - & after 5 minutes where I felt I was possibly going to faint (something I have never done in my life), I made my way back to the car with Gabriela & quietly waited the return of the older girls, while reflecting on how any of the beauty I had seen could possibly be interpreted into a bead….. I didn’t realise I already had begun that particular journey.

A reluctant star gazer is now eternally grateful for the series events that led to this amazing experience & the beginning of a new adventure.

Carina Nebula

Seraphim FlameWorks: Double Helix Oddlots & Test Batches

Here you will find a direct link to Seraphim's absolutely indispensible visual guide for all silver glass afficionado's.
In particular it deals with Double Helix Test Batches & Odd Lots.

Seraphim FlameWorks: Double Helix Oddlots & Test Batches

Do have a look around the rest of this extremly talented studio's blog. There is inspiration & glassy eye candy in abundance, as well as 'recipes' given for all the glass used in the twisties & any given bead.

Riding The Wave

I haven’t thought of name for this bead – well not one that would ‘stick’ right now anyway!
Made at the end of yesterdays torching session – out of short ends or silver glasses laying about on my desk, I wasn’t overly optimistic about what could possibly result – then again I figured that it couldn’t be much worse than my attempts at getting colour out of Van Gogh Caramel – or as it has become known around these parts “getting blood out of a stone”.

I’m pretty darn happy with the colours that I got (bit’s of Elektra, Nyx & Gaia randomly swiped over a black & clear base) – the fact that one end went awol is almost academic , but I had started to lose colour & just wasn’t prepared to fiddle any more.

Lets just say for now I am happy to play with scraps in order to learn & hopefully enable myself to torch, rather than torture, the new shipment of silver glass that is hopefully on it’s way from Double Helix as I type.

Sophie's Bead

I've met a lot of people in the first year of my journey in lampworking - yet I have never met any of them face to face.

The incredible generosity of spirit in both sharing of materials & help/advice that is offered to this Kiwi way down at the bottom of the world often blows me away & frequently I am left feeling that I receive far more than I give.

One lady, in particular, has been an influence & an inspiration to me. Her wonderful ongoing enthusiasm, her absolute passion & fabulous sense of humour never fail to make me take a deep breath & rethink things before I deem them as being 'impossible'. And, boy, can she make me laugh!!!
All that & the fact that she's simply a wonderful warm hearted person ( you know who I'm talking about Ms M.!)

I have been telling Rosebud101 - aka Ms M. about Sophie - I'd shown her links to the YouTube videos featuring Sophie's efforts so far.
Out of the blue I was informed that she had made a bead for Sophie & would be sending it to me to give her.
When I asked her why the response was:
"I just wanted to make a bead that would show the victory of overcoming a challenge because I think that Sophie has done that."

Those words really made me think - because I remember reading somewhere that Sophie said, one one of the many occasions that she was talking to a group of school children that she "didn't think of her disability as that, rather as a challenge - that was being turned into an opportunity".

Last year being awarded New Zealand's Young Sportsperson of the Year & now, at 15 years old, being the youngest New Zealander ever to be selected for the NZ Paralympics team - this young lady has most certainly shown us all just where a challenge can take you!

This is her beautiful bead, made by a wonderful lady that has never met her - yet in some way has recognised something in this beautiful young determined person.

I gave Sophie her bead today - she loved both it & the story that comes with it.

Like me, she couldn't quite comprehend the generosity from someone that has never met her - yet has given recognition to her achievements in a most special way. Ms M - Thank You!

Week Two

& still the prettiest by far! <-- That just popped into my head & not a single person will get my warped sense of humour unless you have read "The Secret Diary of Legolas".


On, on - week two has been somewhat more settled.....& I have made beads. My muse seems to have deserted me somewhat (secretly I suspect she has deflected to warmer climates for the duration), I can't figure why because she was rearing to go before I finished work, but there is no use obsessing over that as it will just compound things. Mum just said I need to give myself a bit of time to settle into a whole new routine - she may be right.

Not that many weeks ago a lovely friend gave me an wonderful analogy when I was talking about the leap of faith I was about to take:

"Think of Indiana Jones when he saw a chasm that had no bridge. He was required to take that leap of faith to cross the chasm and find the Holy Grail. He did and landed square on his feet! When he landed, we, the audience was allowed to see the bridge that had just blended in perfectly with the background. He didn’t know it was there. We didn’t know it was there, but he took that leap, and he was safe."

At the time I said to her that her timing was great in more ways than one, as TV was about to replay the first 3 Indiana Jones movies in a lead up to the new one coming out - & of course I had to watch them as there is a competition running to win a trip to Morocco!!!! Tonight I watched that movie - reminded myself that I had indeed taken a leap & that I will be 'safe'. I know that - I just need to sort out the 'life' that seems insistent of getting in the way.

Mum has recovered from her hospital stay famously! I am thrilled - a good sign is that she rang today & asked if I had any beads made up that she could wear out to dinner tonight with a certain outfit (hey - I'm all for advertising).

I had to explain that most of what I have is in at G&G with price tags on it, but that she was welcome to come over & go through my personal pieces as I had thrown myself something together the week I finished work...out of early odd beads of course. As it turns out, it was perfect to go with the outfit she wanted to wear. Maybe I should go into the jewellery hire business - lol!

On the 'not quite so up side' my Aunt is still in hospital - they are keeping her in there until they can operate. She is to have a double by-pass on Tuesday morning. I'm sure she will be fine - but Mum is already talking about the 24 hour in home care she has to have afterwards.... & how much she will be able to help.

That is what worries me - the thought of Mum rushing around at this time of year is just not good - with Winter approaching & her dodgy immune system, the last thing she needs is to end up back in hospital with Pneumonia again.

One day this blog will be about beads! Just a few things to get out of the way first.

I did make a beaded tassel this week though. It's going to Alaska.

What a Week!

My first week of being officially unemployed ...well actually self employed & I have done approximately 'zip'. Lots of planning & thinking, but nothing viable in the way of material productivity!

There have been interruptions - many of them, but two in particular were extremely good interruptions & I learned a lot from them. Talking with someone who knows marketing is always helpful & when it comes to that, there is no-one quite like my friend & ex-boss, Bronwyn.

Mum ended up in hospital again. On the up side, because she read the warning signs accurately & early, this time, she will be home tomorrow.
On the down side my Aunt was admitted to hospital last night. Two weeks ago she had a pain around her neck - a tight feeling. She noticed yesterday when she was carrying the rubbish out that the same pain came back again, so went to the Doctors - who admitted her straight away. It turns out that the pain two weeks ago was a mild heart attack - they are doing tests now & we will know more later.

I'm just thankful that she is OK at the moment, & being forced to rest.....not to mention that her & Mum are nowhere near each other at the hospital. The word that comes to mind - Chaos!
The thought of those two sharing the same room ..... well lets just say there would be no rest - for anyone.

The picture up the top - well it just reminds me of the kids when they were little. I caught Michaela doing that to Gabriela one day - LOL!

Check out my Guestbook!

I just had to try this out here before I embed it on my website - given that hardly anyone is likely to see it here right now, it seems like the perfect place.
If you do trip over this & would like to comment - feel free to do so.

Oriental Butterfly

I suppose since this log was orginally intended to keep a track of my needlework projects (& in particular my cross stitches) - that I should at least have one up here. This is the piece that came home from the Gallery - which I finally hung today. I meant to post it in my blog earlier - that was the whole intention tonight!

I think this particular cross stitch was single handedly responsible for me laying down my craft weapon of choice - the needle. I must add that it is not the patterns fault - rather the person who decided that she would like to create this butterfly on a lighter background fabric than the one used in the pattern - which to my mind was a touch on the garish side.

Yes - I like a challenge!
But some are just a tad more challenging that what you expect - especially when you have to change all of the shading colours used, because you have changed the background. Then you discover that they really don't make the colours you need - so that involves changing even more colours - & tired eye's find it difficult because the shading is so subtle in places it is hard to tell the difference between fabric & stitched area's. Full saga/visuals in the slide show below.
Anyway here is "Oriental Butterfly" - my way!!

I have a butterfly - now I need to be one. Pretty sure I have that the wrong way around though!

It's Sunday & I'm lovin' It!!

For the first time in a little over 3 years - I have actually enjoyed it!!
No work tomorrow - Yeehaaaaaa!!!

What have I done to actually celebrate this fact - zip, zilch, zero, nada!! I have been so relaxed that I haven't actually given it a thought - the day just happened & that's exactly as it should be, no dreading Monday :o)

I have tidied & sorted, more or less arranged things the way I want them in the studio aka "DaBatt Cave", of course my Dymo just had to run out of battery power right at this moment & I wont even mention tape. I even found places to squeeze some the framing examples that were mine into the little amount of wall space we have here....well apart from my certificate for "Professional Coursework in Framing" - no person in their right mind would want to have that piece of junk on their wall!

I went to see Mum, then took Michaela shopping for new jeans. It is such fun watching her turn into a teenager (just hoping it stays that way!). She's gaining a new found confidence in herself & displaying a total about face in her choice of clothes. She wants to look at girl clothes - more fitted styles & what's more - 'colours' !! No more blacks, browns & dark blues - rather definite feminine style clothes, still not 'girly girl' but after years of only looking at boyish clothes & loose fitting styles- it's a delight to see.
I guess she is feeling a bit more comfortable in her own skin.

I've just pulled out my sewing machine (hoping I can remember how to use it), in order to shorten two pairs of jeans. One, of course, must get both pairs done - just in case she has a 13 year old fashion crisis in the morning.

One of the things I organized today was all of the old newspaper clippings from exhibition openings & newspaper article about HoA. It has served as a timely reminder that never again will I have to look such a dofus as this ~

Well of course - there are more that I look even goofier in, but you'd have to make a special trip to goofyland to see those!


In short it has been a fabulous Sunday - the first of many.

Some Kind of New Record

I think this may well be a new record for me! Two posts in as many days - could this become a habit???

My plan initially for the rest of this week after finishing work - was to take stock, make lists & start putting some systems into action. Then I thought "Hey, why put pressure on yourself - isn't that what you've been doing all along.....putting undue pressure on yourself to achieve & then feeling inadequate when you don't". In short the answer was "yes".

So I made a conscious decision to just relax for the rest of this week, quiet contemplation would perhaps allow me the time needed to just quietly think about my options for the future, but I feel a few things will fall into place of their own accord.

The most unexpected, yet welcome, thing has been that almost from the second I finished work on Monday night, knowing that on Tuesday it would be all over - the need to create returned, after an extremely long absence.

A beautiful, yet in my eye's, inferior bead had been sitting on my work table for months - with me glowering at it every time I noticed it. It had gone wrong at the torch - a Bordello base laden with expensive silver glass decoration, it was imperfect on one end & therefore not suitable for the exchange it was intended for.

Monday night I was inspired, so I played with the meagre remains of my somewhat dry PMC. Then I attacked some Sterling Silver Wire - with pliers, a torch & a hammer!!! "Sacrilegious" - one might think.....
I, on the other hand, feel that the result was worth it ~

In fact I am extremely pleased with this piece, proud in fact - I can say that out loud & believe me that's a first!!

There is something else in my life that I am extremely proud of right now - or rather someone.

For years I watched while this child of mine with a higher than average intelligence, noisily waste both it & himself in the hospitality industry. My party animal, Kieran - the times I quietly hoped (& occasionally prayed) that one day he would follow his dream - the dream that started when he was 4 years old & was put on hold when he discovered girls at 14 ;)

He finally has ~

Only 12 Days

Good grief - what's this? No two year gaps between posts?? Something must've happened ;o)

Well something needed to happen - that's for real! So instead of waiting for things in my world to come right - I made an executive decision & gave them a quiet nudge.
A little over two weeks ago I handed my resignation in at my 'paid employment' - i.e the "Awesome Gallery" mentioned in my profile .....that had become somewhat less than awesome.

I knew it was dragging me down - little did I realise how much.

Talking to someone very special some time ago who encouraged me to take a "leap of faith" made me think..... although obviously not enough at the time to do so with any degree of faith. For months I battled within trying to figure how I could afford to give up the money - my only means of funding my affair with glass.

The "what if's" kept clouding my brain & a huge fear of finally having found something I was passionate about only to not be able to afford it would take over.
The same special person had also advised me about it not being a leap of fear.

On December 17th I had typed up my resignation - ready to hand in in the New Year. On January 2nd I reworded some of it & printed it out. I was quite determined, until I found out that the framer was going to leave & felt some misplaced loyalty about not leaving my bosses in the lurch.

In hindsight at that point it would still have been a leap of fear.

Who knows what happened in the interim - I do know that whenever I mentioned it to my Mum or anyone else, apart from Allan, I was greeted with negative comments about having to find another job first.

I also know that every time I sat at the torch I'd get tense & angry - so much would spin around in my head. Sometimes though, not very often, I'd hear a quite voice - one that was telling me that he wished I could see myself with new eye's. Obviously that quiet voice was always there, just at times I didn't hear it - because something subtly & gradually shifted, without me even being aware.

On Monday 14th April I decided with certainty that I was going to hand my notice in & did so two days later. To be honest I really didn't give any thought at all to what I was going to do - or if it would it work. There wasn't a single "what if" in my head - the only thoughts were that I was going to put what I wanted to do before anything else... the world was my oyster if only I would take that leap.

So leap I did - with faith!

Last night I celebrated my lack of "paid employment" - which in reality is my freedom to be me - with some sinfully expensive oysters ;o)

This is one journey I am looking forward too - want to buckle up & come along for the ride?

Did I say New Beginnings?

How wrong can one be?

Almost two years since the first post - this is rather more of an 'old ending' !

In my case "very" would be an understatement. I have always said that a Diary is no use to me, as if I remembered to write in it - I would forget to read it. I guess that's why I now have a nice new 2008 planner, with lovely, crisp, fresh but oh so blank pages.

My needlework did progress after the start of this blog - but try as I might I just couldn't stay with any sort of 'rotation' plan. The concept was great - but the reality was that when I had done the allocated 10 hours on a piece, I'd then want to do "just a bit more" & see what that wee block of stitches revealed.

Then there was the effort of taking the piece in question off of the frame & setting up the next piece....& what if I lost the wonderful rhythm I had gotten into of almost instinctively knowing what colour floss to use next - yep...you can see it can't you? Procrastination!!

Sooooo - two weeks down the track I would still be working on the same piece...until I eventually got to a boring bit, or Spring arrived...not sure which happened first.

Life got busy - & somewhat interesting. My ex sister in law died after a 3 month battle with cancer - the girls were of course exposed way to much to the final days by their Dad, whom I feel used them as his crutch. It was rather an unsettling time for everyone.
Next my youngest son moved home while he waited for his intake to do the Basic Training course in the New Zealand Army. Then, 5 days after his graduation on the 9th December, my beloved Dad died rather suddenly.
Life hasn't really been the same since, & whilst I don't expect that it will ever be it does go on. A lot that is positive has come out of it - but that is for another time & perhaps another blog ;o)

New beginnings

OK - So I'm starting blog. Maybe this will make me accountable for a few things - like finishing all of those cross stitch UFO's - or actually starting the rotation that I have planned, sorted & all ready to go (& have had for about 6 weeks now).

Then again it could just give me an excuse to spend more time online - discovering new things that I 'need' ;o)

It doesn't really matter, anything is 'theraputic' after spending a day at work - taking down the current exhibition & rehanging the entire Gallery. The physical side of it is easy - it's the brain workout of what 'works' with what else that is challenging. I'm sure I spent half the day shuffling artworks around only to have them end up in the initial postion I'd hung them in.

Mum always did call me a perfectionist - now we can't let our Mums down ...can we?