One Year On

The Governor General of New Zealand", Lt Gen Rt Hon Sir Jerry Mateparae said of Christchurch in his memorial speech today, "We have seen this community of people endure so much, it has been repeatedly tested, and it has not been found wanting."

I don't feel that anyone has said it better than that. There were many speeches & letters from around that world that spoke glowingly & with the highest respect of this community - & it was well deserved.

Those of us that have stuck it out, been here through thick, thin & a whole heap of aftershocks, either by choice or by circumstance over the last year will know what I mean. Today was a milestone. An official new beginning where the only way is forward.

All that was new a year ago isn't new now & even the resolve & resilience is feeling a bit old in some quarters. But after "the year of firsts" that all experience when they grieve, whether it be for the loss of loved ones, a way of life, jobs or homes you realise that life does go on, different to what it was before that moment when everything familiar & safe changed. 

From here on in the idea's & innovations that have arisen from this natural disaster are only going to get better. Simply because us stubborn, proud, bloody minded Cantabrians are determined that it should.

I thought that a particularly nice touch in the memorial service was the choice of realsing 185 Monarch Butterflies to represent each life lost in the earthquake & also to mark new beginnings.

Geurrilla Gardening on the corner of Stanmore Road & Worcester Streets where a row shops once stood.

I think I prefer seeing the cosmos, poppies, calendulas, rudebeckia & such to an empty weed infested section - don't you?

One Year On

No one in Christchurch is going to forget being woken in the early hours of September 4^th 2010. 4.35am & 45 seconds of  violent shaking that signified the time that the lives of everyone in this city were to start changing forever . Nothing could mentally prepare us for what was to come.

What everyone had thought was Mother Nature’s wake up call was in fact just her opening act.

One year on there isn’t a single person left in this city unaffected in one way or another. It isn’t something that can be imagined or understood unless you have been through it & continue to live it on a daily basis….even if you think you can imagine what it must be like, you can’t.

At the beginning of 2010 I was shocked & felt so completely helpless as a 7.0 magnitude earthquake struck Haiti. I watched with horror as events there unfolded & then followed Haiti’s story well after the media had left it behind in its never ending chase for a new headline. I mistakenly thought I could imagine what those people were going through. I was to learn how wrong I was.

In September when we had our first 7.1 magnitude earthquake more or less the same as Haiti's, I knew how blessed we had been as a city to escape with a bit of building damage & no loss of lives. I grieved for the buildings, but could be grateful for all that we had left. 

 I took this photo at 7.00am on the 29th December 2010, having no idea why I chose the buildings & subjects I photographed at the time. Later I was to be very pleased I had.

In February that all changed. People learned what real fear was – the fear of having no control whatsoever over a situation. An earthquake is unlike anything else you can imagine. There is  no warning,  no subtle hint that something isn’t quite right & it might be about to occur.

An earthquake is not something that can be tested, diagnosed or treated – it is completely beyond any human control.  It’s not like going through any other event  you can imagine.

Having the earth shake around you, systems failing or becoming overloaded & not knowing what has happened ‘this time‘ beyond your immediate space is almost paralysing. The tightness in your chest, when you realise that your children are not where you are & that you need to get to them – or that you can’t get in touch with family members because networks are overloaded with others trying to do the same,  is a very real physical pain.

Apparently we’ve had over 8000 aftershocks. But really, in our day to day existence, they are the least of most people’s worries and to me it seems that those that have suffered the most personal damage or loss are the people that are also the least concerned about every little aftershock. Perhaps having something bigger to concern themselves with puts things into perspective. 

Many have fled the city some by choice simply because they are over it & others through necessity. 45,000 have moved within the wider Canterbury region & 26,000 have left it completely , all since February.26,000 private sector job losses in the region will have a lot to do with what seems to be a mass exodus.

The infrastructure of this city is still severely compromised. There are still many that don’t know what is going to happen with their homes, & others that are having to face the sad reality that they may never own their own home again. 

Sometimes it is hard to see the progress. But progress there most assuredly is – even if it is in the form of demolition. The roads are still a mess in many area’s & flooding has become an issue so the previously beautiful Avon River has been sand banked & isn’t quite as picturesque as it once was in many areas. But it’s not just those things that have changed.

It’s in the smaller things – the subtle differences that impact on every facet of your life one way or another.

Such as how if has affected our interior décor style…

After the September quake a visitor would arrive & you’d greet them with “Come in – but please excuse the mess”  & with a wave of your hand usher them inside. Everyone had a similar mess so it was no big deal.

As the aftershocks continued more & more got relegated to either the rubbish bin or staying safely on the floor where it couldn’t fall any further in the case of things that survived undamaged. Now when visitors arrive you don’t even bother to justify why artwork is on the floor leaning face in against walls …or why there are brown cardboard cartons holding the china that once was on display either side of it.

The upside to this is that “Dirty is the new Clean”

A combination of a mild winter, silt resulting from the bigger quakes & countless trucks travelling roads they wouldn’t normally use while transporting rubble from the red zone demolitions out to the land fill means we have a wonderful excess of dust. This dust gets everywhere, coating plants, windows & every surface you can imagine inside. It’s not selective – if you keep your windows & doors shut it will come in via the heat pump or air conditioning.

It also loves cars, managing to turn even the shiniest sports car into something that looks as if it has just done a cross country off road trip within minutes of being outside. Just as well my heap isn’t a shiny sports car.

I realised when it snowed last month that it was the first time my car had looked clean in months!!

“Fabulous”, I thought “What an effective car cleaner snow is!” It lasted 24 hours…..only because I didn’t take the car out & the trucks weren’t dumping that day.

Small things, yes. Easy enough to make light of & to bear for those of us that aren’t dealing daily with some of the bigger stuff. But it is those that are dealing with the bigger stuff that I worry about, these smaller things that are easy for many of us to bear can be like the last building block on the stack that causes the pile to tumble down for those that are dealing with trying to piece broken homes & lives back together somehow.

So one year & 8000 aftershocks on I look back at all that has happened since the initial quake, the mailleman’s heart attack, a few hospital trips for Mum, the passing on of two Aunts, my favourite Uncle having a stroke & I wonder whether the physiological  effects of this will ever be truly understood.

The ripples are many, not always obvious, & will last for some years to come.

 Kenton Chambers post February 22nd.

Day Whatever

It's difficult to believe that it was only just over a week ago I finally got back to the torch for a couple of hours after such a long hiatus. It seems so much longer ago than that. Last Sunday morning I unloaded the kiln with little expectation, knowing that essentially I'd played with scrap glass just getting a feel for things again & was pleasantly surprised that my uglies weren't quite as ugly as I imagined they would be.

The mailleman watched my surprise as I examined the beads & commented "You'll have to get torching again this afternoon" & I replied with "No, but I'll be back into it head on on Wednesday". I recall him asking why I was waiting until Wednesday & explaining that I had a few things I wanted to do on Monday, along with dancing (which makes every Monday something to look forward too!) & on Tuesday I was going out with my sister in law in the morning & had some loose ends to tie up in the afternoon.

The 'few things' were getting the house ship shape, thereby eliminating any excuses about not being able to focus on work when everything around me was untidy, & to tidy up the vege garden. Tuesdays 'loose ends' were to finish off a couple of small projects I had been working on & rearrange my workspace. The house got tidied, I know that much.  I recall that on Tuesday morning being so pleased with how the kitchen looked as I headed out the door with my sister in law, knowing I could come home after our outing & put another coat of sealer on my new workbench top, run a couple of errands & then finish off my copper patina experiments all before Gabriela got home.

We all know how that turned out. The house doesn't look so tidy any more either. But none of this is very important.

What I had planned on doing on Wednesday was the important thing. The wonderful girls at Ris'tretto had sold the last of the Haiti Hearts & I'd promised them I was going to make more. That was to be Wednesday task.

Amazingly enough the Haiti Hearts had continued selling locally even after our 7.1 mag Earthquake back in September. I'm thinking that our wee shake back then most likely raised awareness & a deeper understanding for what the Haitians had been through. It certainly added further dimension for me even though the plight of Haiti had been on my mind & heart from that day back in January 2010 when it happened.

How strange it was yesterday to hear Helen Clark, our ex Prime Minister & now based in the USA as  the Administrator of the United Nations Development Program, say that the devastation here was on a par with Haiti. She'd visited Haiti  right after their earthquake last year & now Christchurch. It's somehow added yet another layer to what already feels surreal.

It's also had a palliative effect. Perhaps it was a reminder that I needed at a time when it is so easy to get consumed by all that surrounds us.

When I start to feel a bit low & hopeless about everything that is unfolding around me or worry what to do about my girls whom I cant afford to send away out of it all,  & really don't know whether I would want to  be apart from them even if I could afford to send them to school else where in the country, I can't help but think that we have so many more options than Haiti did. We had so many options available to begin with than Haiti did.

I can't help but think of the systems already in place that allowed quick response times by emergency services locally & the speed in which international teams were able to arrive & get to work unhindered by red tape & politics.

Then it is not so difficult to see hope amidst this destruction.

Two Degrees of Seperation

As a city we've spent almost 6 months pulling ourselves, our lives & our city back together only to see it all destroyed in a matter of seconds.

5 3/4 months ago I called the first earthquake, not a tragedy, but an inconvenience. I got annoyed at friends that bemoaned breakages & damage. I told them that we were fortunate & so incredibly blessed because no lives had been lost. I wish beyond anything I could ever have imagined that I could say the same this time.

To go out among it is heartbreaking enough on it's own. It's a strange & heartbreaking sight, but then this city known for it's old Gothic revival buildings, beautiful parks, rivers & English beauty is now full of unimaginable sights.

Last time, after a short while of mourning the forever changed landscape, I could find the positive in what was left & be grateful for the old buildings & churches that have survived with little or no damage. Now I am struggling to do that.

How can you do that with a death toll that stands at 147 with 200 still missing?

On the afternoon of the 22nd February this city & the lives of everyone in it changed, irrevocably, for the worse. I knew without one iota of doubt when that sucker hit that this was going to be bad. I was shocked when I finally made contact with the outside world 30 minutes later to discover that it was only 6.3 magnitude as it had felt in every way so much bigger & more violent that the first one & I'd been sure in my mind that it was an 8-9 magnitude.

I can't really describe the hours that followed as just small bit's of information trickled in while I was out searching for a daughter that I knew had left school early only 20 minutes before the quake hit, then later trying to get to my Mothers over broken bridges & roads because I couldn't contact her. But later on that night when the power came on down at my Aunts place & we turned on TV the full shock & horror of just how bad it was hit home.

As I've said in many emails & messages over the past couple of days in a country that only has around two degree's of separation, instead of the usual six degree's, it was only a matter of time before we would be affected by the loss of someone we knew or knew of. The same will go for most in this city.

But this isn't just Christchurch's tragedy - it's international. Japan has 26 students missing, China 20, the Phillipines 14, 2 South Koreans & 6 from Thailand. It's thought that there are deceased & missing from over 20 countries. How on earth do you deal with that? Not just the people you know - but visitors that came to New Zealand, to Christchurch, by choice to study English perhaps or work in a country that was safer or the pay better. There are parents, children & families all around the world that are holding out hope that fades daily or already grieving. This all just breaks my heart.

I can find some tiny bit's of consolation in the stories that are coming to light, some extremely close to me, of near misses. A missed appointment in one of the buildings that collapsed or a detour that meant someone was late getting back to work in another, but they don't make the losses any less significant or heartbreaking.

To others the damage & loss of homes is a very real & immediate problem. Areas that escaped very lightly in the first Earthquake got hit hard this time & area's that got hit hard the first time have been hit again with even more velocity & damage.

With the September earthquake, because of where the fault line was, the hill suburbs avoided damage & most of the impact was felt by those to the South of the city,  in the city & the Eastern suburbs.

Five & 3/4 months of cleaning, making do, waiting & dealing with the EQC & insurance companies ensued, people got tired. Rules changed - so did what people had originally been told. The elderly especially wanted to know what was happening & how long it would take. Lets face it, some won't be around by the time their homes are replaced or repaired.

Now the suburbs that were hit the hardest last time have been hit hard again, roads damaged beyond belief & more homes damaged beyond repair. The hill suburbs have taken a huge hit with houses extensively damaged or destroyed by rock falls. Five days in & a lot of them  still have neither power or water. This also means that many of them have no real idea of the utter disaster in the Central Business District. They may have heard bits & pieces but that is completely different to actually seeing the devastation.

I have 49 years invested in this city, it may not be where I'd like to live the rest of my life, but it is as much a part of me as the blood that runs through my veins. The images I've seen stun me, each time it is like a physical blow to the chest - I can only imagine what they will do to the elderly that are perhaps ill prepared to deal with it.

I live in a little pocket that is seemingly untouched - yet I only have to walk as far as the end of my street to see the signs of liquefaction, a 5 minute walk up the road & around a corner & it is like a different planet, another 500 meters away in the opposite direction & the power is still out...in another subdivision around the age of this one that has suffered structural damage to many of it's homes. It beggars belief.

My family are all safe & well & I live in a small subdivision that is appears to be untouched.I've seen this referred to as luck - but do I feel lucky? No, I feel blessed, but also very conflicted. 

I see the hurt & the loss of others & feel so useless, it feels selfish to be happy about what I have got. Part of me wants to get in the car & drive as fast & far as I can away from here - but would I leave now if I could? No!! I want to reach out & help everyone that's hurting in some way, but all I can do is offer to share the safe haven & facilities we have here with whoever needs them or be supportive to people who need support in any way I can. But somehow it isn't enough. I want to do more & don't know what more to do.

It eases the heart a little to see the overwhelming International support. Teams of experts in all fields have flown in from  7 countries to do a job that few of us would want do, putting their lives at risk in the process. The 55 strong British search & rescue team, last deployed in Haiti, brought with them 11 tonnes of specialist equipment - mind boggling! Australia, the USA, China, Japan, Taiwan, Singapore have sent teams & support people to work alongside our NZ Police & Search & Rescue teams.

The NZ Military is putting every man it can on the job over & above the 1000 strong contingent that were already in the area from all around the country preparing  to leave on a Military exercise when the earthquake hit. It's humbling.

It's also reassuring to know that we have the best the world has to offer here at this time. Thank you world.

Please understand that the people of this city are bewildered & in some part scared. There are so many questions about the future that right now simply can't be answered. We have to get through the 'now'.Nothing in this city makes much sense any more. Soon enough the world will have other problems & media will move on & focus on the next news worthy issue. For those of us who live here, those that call Christchurch home, this is a luxury we don't have.

Broken lives, broken hearts, broken roads & broken homes - but not ever broken spirits. 

Kia Kaha - Forever Strong. That is Canterbury!

The UC Student Volunteer Army, organised by a University of Canterbury student to go out to the suburbs & help with cleaning up the silt & whatever needs doing.

Still Standing on Shaky Ground

I want to talk about earthquakes. Yeah, I know - so last month, or was it the month before?

Actually, in all truth, the last thing I want to talk about is earthquakes, because right now in this city it is a subject that pretty much comes up in every conversation you have with anyone no matter where you go. Everyone has been affected in one way or another & many continue to be so with every aftershock.

I don't want to sound as if I am droning on & complaining - I'm not.

Believe it or not I used to get a kick out of earthquakes. Christchurch has always felt  the effects of bigger quakes centred way down the bottom of the South Island. They'd probably register here at around a 3 magnitude & they never bothered me apart from giving me a bit of a thrill. 

But, as of 3 hours ago, we're at aftershock #2934 since September 4th &, although I haven't actually felt 2/3 of those, like many, many others I am over it. To be honest I don't know what I feel any more....apart from confused about how I feel ;)

What I do know though is that we have been so incredibly blessed on so very many levels & I will be eternally grateful for that. These pesky aftershocks aren't stopping me living as I normally would, I still go out & do the things I have always done, go into the same huge stores & old buildings I have always gone into without thought of what would happen if there were another big one & I'm not losing sleep at night from worrying about what might be.

I'm not living in fear of them & I'm certainly not waiting around for the 'next' aftershock to happen. As far as I'm concerned every one I feel is the last one. It doesn't even cross my mind that there will be another one.... until it happens. Then for a few seconds or sometimes a few minutes, depending on the circumstances, absolutely everything goes to custard.lol!

The last one was a rather decent 4.9 magnitude, that once again had me grabbing my desk to hold on as the serious shaking started. As I did that I wondered why I was doing it. Was I afraid? No, not really. So why then?

I'm going to attempt to explain.

We often hear the aftershocks coming. A deep rumble or roar is quickly followed by a sharp whip like crack as the house starts to move. Then the rattling starts - doors, blinds & such. My mind deals with this in the "s**t another freakin aftershock" manner & if it's only been a smaller (as in short sharp type) aftershock I don't have much time to think more than that before it's over & everything can go back to it's regularly scheduled program.

It's when they go on for a bit longer than the split second it takes for you to realise one is happening & have the "s.a.f.a" reaction that things come unstuck. All of a sudden you realise that your body has tensed up in anticipation that this one might be building up into something big & your mind is quickly following suit. Grabbing onto something is the precursor to stabilising yourself in order to get up & head for the nearest door frame to take refuge under.

And then, just as you make that call to take cover, the shaking slows & you know it isn't going to be another big one.... even though your body feels as if the ground is still moving when you know it has stopped. It messes with your equilibrium & for some reason has the ability to spoil everything that has gone before. That few seconds can cruelly strip the shine off of the surface of an otherwise perfect day. 

Whatever you were focussed on those few seconds earlier is instantly forgotten,  as if someone has stirred up the silt on the bottom of a pond & what you know was there before isn't visible any more. You find yourself unable to settle & refocus, or only able to focus on things for a short time in between pacing up & down like a caged animal, in the hour or so afterwards.  It's annoying - annoying & unsettling.

When everyone is at home it isn't so bad. But when partners are at work or kids are at school or in daycare it adds the element of worry to pot. Are they safe? Is the building they are in ok? 

Even though you know that the buildings were all inspected & given clearance (or not) after the 'big one' there is no denying that these aftershocks have caused both fresh damage & further damage. Then there is the concern over family members still living in homes that have been damaged or on land that has subsided, while they wait to hear the verdict from EQC.  You don't rest easy until you have made contact & hear that everyone is safe.

Life in many ways is normal.... or rather the new normal.And in many ways it's not at all normal.

I'm not alone in the fact that I haven't picked up things that fell or moved during the first earthquake. Everything large & breakable is still sitting on the floor where they can't fall any further. Although I expect every aftershock to be the last aftershock right back at the beginning I decided that they wouldn't go back up until we'd had no more for at least a fortnight. I don't see the point in adding to the list of breakages if it can be avoided. Fortunately this isn't the 'new' normal,  it's just normal for now.

In the bigger scheme of things, city wide, it's not that normal either. But perhaps that is for another post. This one has already become  quite long & I still have things I want to say.

I completely understand what this is doing to people, what it does to ones psyche - I feel that too.  I don't want to trivialise feelings or what people are going through...yet on the other hand I want to say 'get over it & count your blessings, this is life - for now at least & aren't we so fortunate that it is this great?!"

With Haiti still as fresh as it ever was on my mind it would be difficult not to feel that way.... & Haiti is what I compare everything back to. Not only the incredible loss that people of Haiti suffered on January 12th, but what they continue to suffer with Cholera now taking it's toll amidst tropical storms & everything else that is still happening.... & much that hasn't happened that should have.

A word I used to describe what I was feeling in the week immediately after the earthquake was conflicted. I still feel that way. So if you see the occasional status update on FaceBook referring to an aftershock, please forgive me - it just means that an aftershock temporarily rattled my brain ;)

The image above? That was my shoe cabinet the morning of the earthquake. It still looks that way - only a few more have gone over. The other cabinet is the same. Yes, there are breakages - but I'm not concerned. They're just things after all :)

Damage Control

Last night after work we went to the movies. Dare I admit it, my choice was "The Sorcerers Apprentice". I needed something fun & light that I could lose my inner child (the one with the vivid imagination) in....& I kind of like Nicholas Cage.

Since returning from Australia I've found it hard to settle into any sort of routine, difficult to focus & concentrate on anything & I find that in itself incredibly frustrating. The continuing aftershocks haven't helped.

After all of the breath taking moments & utter beauty I absorbed in Australia I guess it's kind of understandable that I didn't want to face up to the destruction here again.

While every part of my being tries to shut out what is happening in this city & the physical me will take routes that circumnavigate the damaged area's, there comes a time when you just have to face up to things.

In recent years I haven't been hugely enamoured of the city I call 'home', yet it rips me apart to see buildings that have always been a part of the character of this place demolished or damaged.

On the way home from the movies we went past the Baptist Church. I decided that I wanted a photo, so we parked the car a little way up the road & walked around to get one. I'm so pleased that I did!

I was standing on one of the cities many bridges to take the above photo & thought to turn around. In doing so the sight of the tree lined Avon River greeted me & reminded me that there is still a lot of 'beautiful' here!

Boom boom goes my heart....

Earthquakes and a heart attack, all within days of each other. There is nothing quite like someone close to you suffering a heart attack to put a little old earthquake into perspective, among other things...

While Christchurch was facing the aftermath & aftershocks of the earthquake, I found myself face to face with mortality.

At around 12.30am last Wednesday morning I found myself with an Ambulance in my driveway & paramedics in my lounge. My partner Allan (known to some of you as the mailleman) was, very calmly, in the throes of having a heart attack. It's not really possible to describe how someone can 'calmly' have a heart attack, but he did. His controlled manner, even when I could see & hear he was in considerable pain, kept me calm & thinking clear enough to do everything I needed to do quickly & efficiently without giving way to the panic that was quickly rising in every fibre of  my body.

To be honest I didn't need to do much apart from make the choice of not listening to his request of 'dropping him off at Accident & Emergency because he had a chest pain' & instead dial 111.

I can't praise the manner & actions of the emergency operator & the paramedics highly enough.Thanks to everyone concerned he was in hospital & being treated within 30 minutes of the first pain which had woken him from sleep. Within 12 hours he had undergone an angioplasty & had a stent placed in the left anterior descending artery to his heart. 

He's recovered so well from this that he came home on Friday, with a new lease of life.....

Why am I writing about this here, you may ask. Simply because I have been somewhat preoccupied, inconsistent in responding to emails & answering questions, remembering to publish blog comments & pretty much everything in between. My mind it seems has turned into mush, I have the concentration span of a gnat & less focus than a blindfolded bat. I know that I'm in a state of serious forgetfulness when I forget one of the first dances I learned at dancing & fail to notice red lights!!  

My apologies in advance for any vagueness people may encounter .

I'm hoping it's temporary :)

"Boom Boom Goes My Heart" - or as line dancers know it,  "Chica Boom Boom"

Breathe Deb - this is normal

It's weird when what once was a normal thing suddenly becomes something that elicits a response of surprise.

A parcel on the doorstep Monday morning did exactly that. I wondered how it could be that the courier would be delivering parcels 48 hours after an earthquake. Yet what else would a courier be doing?

The week has pretty much gone on like that. Spring is still bringing a wealth of flowers & blossom, the sun is shining & it all just seems not to fit somehow.

 

Daffodils in Hagley Park

In this relatively unaffected suburb that I live in it is very easy to believe that things are normal. Then you leave for one reason or another & everything hits you. It takes your breath away in many instances. I'm trying to remain positive, but every day I discover a new reminder that things will never be the same again.

I carry my camera everywhere but haven't taken photo's as I just can't bring myself to photograph the damage. While to me it is wreckage to someone else it is heartbreak, signifying in some instances the loss of livelihood & in others damage to all they have worked for. While some damage can be repaired or replaced I wonder how safe people will feel in their homes from now on.

I've lived in more or less the same suburb, certainly in the same area of the city, for 13 years. Apart from a 10 year break close to the central city I also lived here 10 years here before. What can I say - I'm a creature of habit. Anyone who has followed this blog for any period of time will know how I feel about all of the lovely old buildings being bowled & rows of ugly new town houses/apartments being put in their place.

Although complete loss isn't huge in the St Albans/Edgeware/Mairehau/Shirely area's - there are still very significant signs of damage.

This is why the normal things that continue to happen seem so strange right now. 

A lot of the landmarks that have been a part of my day to day existance for the best part of my adult life are gone. I'm not talking about big impressive city landmarks (although some of them have been affected), rather the neighbourhood shops & buildings.

A drive along many of  the streets in St Albans & you will find almost every home that had a chimney no longer has one. It's fixable & no doubt they will all be repaired quite soon, but irrespective of that it has caused every one of those home owners stress.

I can easily imagine the terror caused & fear felt when not only is the earth shaking but you hear the thud of bricks & mortar landing on your roof or in some cases falling through it.

St Albans/Edgeware is quite an old area. A lot of the buildings that have been lost were old brick structures, in most instances not particularly pretty - but still very much a part of my life. They have always just been there.

 

Winton St - Winter 2006

In one case in particular I have even lived there. 53 Winton Street. This will most likely be the one of the first residential property's that ends up being demolished as a result of the earthquake.

From May 2004 until October 2007 we called this house home. She was big, she was cold, she was old & expensive to run, but it was such a privilege to have lived there. 

She really was the grand old lady of the area. While in recent years the property had been sub-divided by developers & the original stables had been demolished to make way for town houses, she had so much character & history that she was worth preserving.  She dates back to the late 1860's when she was the original farmhouse on a holding that is now occupied by 3 suburbs.

I recall her from before her more recent sub divisions, surrounded by a fabulous overgrown garden. Back then she was my dream home & I would have visions of what I could do with a huge house & garden such as that. Later she suffered her first subdivision but was left with her stables & about half the amount of land - she went on the market for a mere $189,000. A developer brought her & bowled the stables, built two town houses on the back of the section & flicked her on. Unfortunately she got owners that were only interested in making some money from her as a rental, & not restoring & strengthening her as she deserved. It was shortly after that that we rented her.

I may not have occupied much in the way of her long & interesting history, but she is certainly part of mine.

I discovered & started lampworking whilst living there. I rediscovered gardening while there too. Some of the English roses & such that I put in are still there.

The earthquake saw her suffer substantial damage, much of which had been tidied by the time these photo's were taken. She lost all of her chimneys & the top of her stair well. Since these photo's were taken she has been taped off with yellow danger tape & declared a No Go area.

 The Stairwell

Some days you just have to chip off the surface & see what lays beneath...

Christchurch Earthquake - Part 2

Where to start? I'm not really sure. There seems to be so much to say, so many contradictions I guess. That is what makes it surreal.

After a couple of hours sleep on & off I got up on Saturday morning to (reluctantly) get ready to go to work. It was then that the impact of the earthquake really hit home. I wanted a shower & a coffee, but of course there was no water or power.

It was then I realised how dreadfully unprepared we were for any sort of disaster & promptly added to my want list; a generator, a small radio, an unlimited supply of rechargeable batteries (all fully charged of course),  a decent cell phone (you know the sort, one with internet access), space to store non perishable goods & bottled water.....& a swimming pool, or in the very least a handy river ;)

Most importantly I realised how absolutely useless it is to have most of your money in one bank account that isn't accessible with your EFTPOS/ATM card ..& that relying on the technology of electronic funds when there is no electricity is somewhat moot anyway!

Add cold hard cash to the list.

Also add an old keypad/dial telephone - not the cordless type handset that requires power to run the docking base.

We do have one of those older phones & although we couldn't dial out for some reason I discovered that people could call us when my boss rang to tell me that there wasn't going to be any work.

My cell phone was flat & had no credit on it anyway & the car needed petrol. Fortunately Gabriela's cell phone was working (when the network wasn't overloaded) & we contacted people that way.

 Gabriela gets innovative trying to get cell phone reception

The neighbourhood I live in looked fine as I walked down to my Aunts house to check on her.It didn't seem real somehow as it was just like any other Saturday except that I wasn't at work & no one had any power... but kids were kicking balls around & people were out walking dogs even though there were still regular aftershocks occurring.

One upside to being a lampworker is that I have a good supply of propane & my tanks also fit our BBQ. Soon enough we were boiling water to make cups of tea & coffee. My Mum was here by that stage & told us of the damage over in her suburb. Listening to the radio at my Aunts house the enormity of  the damage to the city started to become apparent. But it still didn't seem real.

Later when we took Mum back to her house it was some distance before we started seeing signs of damage. There was the usual amount of Saturday traffic on the roads....that seemed normal enough. During the drive over there we passed a golf course & there were people playing golf!! I recall wondering why things appeared so normal - why were people acting as if it was just another Saturday, as if nothing had happened.

Perhaps I had dreamed the earthquake & everything up until that point.

As we got closer to Mums house I knew it was no dream. Roads were covered in silt, the river was muddy & damage to roads footpaths & fences started becoming apparent. Both Mum & her neighbours 3 year old homes have moved & are now on an angle. The house next door to them has cracked right through the middle & will have to be demolished. It is only 8 years old. Two older houses in the lower front sections have been damaged & may have to be demolished also. There is a lot of damage in her area & the other area's along side the Avon River, both to homes & roads. It was quite disheartening to see.

In my travels around the city since yesterday what has hit me the most is the fact that there seem to be concentrated area's of damage in the middle of bigger area's where there is no damage at all. 

 A lot of it has to do with the type of soil any given area is on. We are close to the coast & aside from the coastline itself there are area's scattered through Christchurch that sit on  a substrate of sand that was once (thousands of years ago) old coastline.

Under normal circumstances a sandy substrate is no problem, but when an earthquake occurs it affects the pressure of the groundwater forcing it up between the sand/silt particles causing liquefaction. In some of the residential area's this is what has occurred & what has caused the damage.

But really the important thing to remember, in my opinion, is that we are a city that is under a state of emergency, not one in utter devastation. For every image you see of destruction & damage, there would be 100 images that show buildings untouched. Lets face it the media aren't interested in showing the buildings that are intact when covering something like this.

I don't say the above lightly & I'm not attempting to trivialise what has happened, I'm simply putting it into perspective as it stands at this point. 

I realise that this city, the city of my birth, wont ever be the same again but only time will tell to what extent that change will go. It's early days yet.

The aftershocks continue, but I'm just telling myself that they are the earth trying to settle itself back down.

Some Days are Diamonds, Some Days are Stones

Christchurch Earthquake - Part 1

On Friday I had my weekend all mapped out. Work Saturday & on Sunday a linedance social celebrating Spring. It was easy, relaxed & unhurried.

This time on Friday night I was out for dinner with some friends at a fabulous Greek Restaurant, eating wonderful food, listening to great music played on the Bouzouki &, in between laughing until my throat was raw at the witty repartee that was constantly flowing at our table, thinking nostalgically of how very much hearing the Bouzouki reminded me of my Papa playing his Mandolin.

Then overnight the world shifted somewhat. At least my little corner of it did, both physically & literally.

I wont bore you with all of the details of what it felt like to be soundly sleeping one second & the next almost physically thrown out of bed, apart from saying that I have never been so terrified in my entire life.

Somewhere between becoming conscious that everything was shaking & the house was banging all around us the world went from the usual amount of night time light to being pitch black.

I found my torch easily as it has a special light for instances just as this. I have never been so thankful for spending far more than I should have on that torch a few years back than I was in the early hours of Saturday morning. After the initial quake was over, people checked upon , damage taken stock of & things moved & secured in case of aftershocks I just stood outside trying to regroup my thoughts & slow my heart down a bit.

It was a freezing cold but crystal clear night & with most of the city in darkness the heavens were absolutely spectacular. I have never seen anything of such amazing beauty from within the city boundaries..... & more than anything else that is what struck me. A velvet black sky full of all of the stars that we normally see on a clear night, but with thousands upon thousands more tiny little twinkles that are usually invisible to us against the reflection of the city lights. In that instant I knew that everything was going to be alright.

When I finally went back to bed I had no idea what the earthquake had measured nor the ensuing aftershocks. I'd realised that we were abysmally unprepared for this sort of thing & with all power out there wasn't anything to be done about it at that point anyway.

All I could think about as I lay down was Haiti & their earthquake in January this year. In those wee small hours I formed an even deeper understanding, empathy, admiration & respect for the people of Haiti.

Here in Christchurch, everything is alright. Buildings have been damaged, some irreparably, & possessions  have been damaged & broken. But they are just 'things'. People have not been killed. Injuries have been few & relatively minor, with only two serious injuries in a city that has a population of 386,000 people - how miraculous is that?

Christchurch, whether most realise it or not right now, is indeed blessed.

A lot of this still seems surreal  & in blog posts over the next few days I will attempt to explain why, as well as document my thoughts & observations.

Have a Heart for Haiti - New Hearts Going up on Etsy

Over time the media will start to focus their attention on other World events & slowly the awareness of what is happening in Haiti will dwindle. Yet there will still be so very much that needs doing in the long run.

I hope people don't start numbing to it too quickly & that the awareness & peoples efforts stay strong for a long time yet to come.

Three more Heats listed tonight in my Etsy store

Heart#9

Heart #10

Heart #11

Have a Heart for Haiti - Heart # 6

Heart #6 in Gaffer's Blue Chalcedony is listed on Etsy now

Heart #6

Have a Heart For Haiti - "The Action"

This morning I woke up to the sale of two hearts on top of a substantial Etsy order.

I have to say it felt better than Christmas - 100 times better.

Just knowing that I can do something that in some small way will help alleviate the suffering & loss, either now or in the future when people start to rebuild their lives is immensely humbling.

Two more hearts will be going up tonight. I'd like to try & keep a minimum of three listed on Etsy.
I need to make time to get some made & listed on my website.

Funds Raised to date: US$57.38

Heart #4

Heart #5

Have A Heart for Haiti - Bead Number Three is Listed

The third bead is up on Etsy, so I am meeting my target so far of one bead per day.
Of course it would be even better if they sold. I've upped the ante & decided to also contribute 20% of the profit of all sales through my Etsy store.

I spent some time on the phone to World Vision today, just checking out a couple of things. Being absolutely certain that any donations were definitely going to go to Haiti was top on my priority list. I was thrilled to be assured that they would & that World Vision would send out a receipt stating so for all donations made.

The nice young chap that I spoke to was telling me how their phones have rung non-stop since the earthquake hit the news & that, in New Zealand, private donations from individuals have reached $60,000.00 in the first 24 hours, & along with corporate donations they now stand at $215,000. for the World Visions Earthquake Relief.

I was also thrilled to hear that some of the money raised from the 40 Hour Famine that Gabriela took part in last year has gone towards helping the victims in Haiti, $150,000. of it to be precise. It's great to know that our young people have also been able to help with this tragedy.

Apparently World Vision staff in Haiti have also been able to start handing out supplies. Their first large shipment has safely landed, & more supplies are now arriving daily. They started distributing water, clothing & hygiene kits last Saturday.

There is still a very long way to go.

Have a Heart for Haiti - "The Plan"

Monday I spent checking out all of the charity organizations that will be active in Haiti. Not as easy as you may think. I wanted a Christian based charity, one that was global, one that had an established presence in Haiti &, of course, one that you could specifically tag donations to go to Haiti.

I chose World Vision as it was important to me to have an agency that already has a team in Haiti ready to act now. That is what the people there need, immediate help & support.
World Vision has had a presence in the region for 30 years & already have 800 staff there, 18.1 metric tonnes of supplies due, hopefully landed by now and more of their global emergency relief team are on the way.

My plan is to list at least one heart per day. Ultimately I would like to make (& hopefully sell) two hearts per day until at least the end of the first week in February.
100% (after the Etsy/Paypal fees) of the profit will go to World Vision. I'll make the donation to World Vision once a week. Postage will be the cost of the shipping with no charge for packaging etc.
I've tried to calculate the price of the beads so that World Vision will end up getting a minimum of US$15.00, after the fees, per bead sold.

I will show a running total of the beads sold, amount raised & donated so far in my Etsy Shop Announcement, my Website & here on my Blog.

Without further ado - Bead #2

Did The Earth Move For you?

There I was last night, quietly minding my own business & making beads out in my Garagio (flash name for my garage based studio), when all of a sudden the earth started moving for me....or rather under me.

It was a somewhat surreal feeling, not that it's the first earthquake I have ever felt by a long shot. The fact that I was the only one in this house that felt it left me somewhat bemused!! Perhaps it was because I sit at a very level work area with my elbows resting on the table & my feet on the floor that made me more aware...who knows!

If you can imagine being completely focussed on a ball of molten glass held in a hot flame you might understand the thought process.

A subconscious awareness of movement & the thought
"hmmm, if I'm feeling this vague, I must need more coffee"....a split second before the realization of
"well heck, I'm actually moving & gently swaying, yet sitting still" which of course was closely followed by
"oh bloody hell - earthquake (how cool)".
Of course the next thought was the responsible adult thought of "I suppose I really should put this bead down & turn everything off", right as I continued to add another dollop or two of glass.

At this point I was wondering why no one inside had yelled out anything, & decided that at any second I was going to hear the crash of something falling down or such so, complete with molten bead in hand, I went across the garage, into the lounge & pretty much blurted out "can you guys feel this?".

Blank looks greet me from both the 11 year old sitting on the couch & the Mailleman standing at the bench in the kitchen.

Them: "Feel what?"

Me: "ummm - the Earthquake"

Mailleman: "no, didn't feel a thing"
11 Year Old: "Oh that will be why the blinds were swinging before"

At that point I may have rolled my eye's, & quietly given up on my family.lol!

I snuck back out to my work area & as I sat down realised that it was still going but in the throes of tailing off!

As I said perhaps it was just because of the way I was sitting....then again I have felt quakes that others haven't when I have been sitting at the computer.
Of course it all happened in a very short time & no beads were harmed in the shaking.

OK, so this is not the most beautiful bead I've ever made - but it survived some time out of the flame before being quickly finished off, & it's probably unique in as much as it was made during a New Zealand earthquake.

The Calm Before the Storm?

Nor'west Arch & Naked Tree's

I have to capture this - even if just to remind myself again that this is the warmest I have been in winter for almost as long as I can remember.

Here in Christchurch we are 2 days shy of being exactly in the middle of winter - yet it is 14 degrees (57 degrees farenheit for my stateside friends), bright, sunny & a beautiful n'orwest day.
Mallory - I think we are getting your weather!

I knew it was warm this morning when I walked into the garage....oops I mean the "studio"&, I could have just sat down to torch with no heater going to warm the area up first.
It's been mild all week, almost too warm, & at one point more than one of us has said "hmmmmm - snow weather" or "this is too good to be true" - my eternally droll, dry son replied "or there'll be an earthquake".

Sure enough there was an earthquake around lunchtime today - but we didn't feel it. It shook the lower half of the Island & was centered near Te Anau down the bottom of the South Island. Measuring 5.9 on the Richter scale - it wasn't too bad.

"So Much Green in Winter"