Merry Everything & Happy Always

A couple of days after Christmas I stumbled across a jpeg that I wish I had found before Christmas. I really struggled with Christmas this year - especially in the "putting seasons greetings out there" department!

My own version - not too Christmasy.

Why did I struggle? I can tell you that, aside from missing family, it wasn't so much a personal struggle. 

It was a struggle for the friends that have lost someone during this last year & there seemed to be so many of them. From the one whose son left this world on Christmas day last year - to the one whose son left in April, the dear friend whose Mum died, an ocean away, a few days before Christmas, the one who buried her husband 2 days before Christmas &  the one whose husband passed on Christmas Eve. Then there is the one who is being nursed through the final stages of pancreatic cancer, by her daughter, along with the lovely lady I have just met that has had to admit her Mum to a dementia facility.

Some of these people I have met & consider friends, others I have known for years online - exchanged cards, beads & emails with & I consider them friends too.

The thing is it's academic as to whether I know them in reality  - or not. I don't need to have sat down with them in person to know that the first Christmas without someone who once was a part of you & your life is just bloody awful - or that a death anywhere near Christmas is always going to become an inextricable part of the whole Christmas thing from that day on.

I don't need to have sat down with them to know that often those trite comments, although well intentioned, sometimes just don't help - or seeing another make a comparison to a loss they have suffered is sometimes a bit meaningless because it isn't their loss. Trying to find the right thing to say, while acknowledging that their grief is immense & overwhelming, yet completely unique to them & not comparable to anyone else's grief, is difficult.

Amidst all the celebrity deaths this Christmas Season I felt most for the people I know. While a celebrity will impact our life to some degree & we will mourn their loss, it doesn't actually change our life the way losing a loved one does.

There is not that sudden shift in our psyche that tells us in no uncertain terms that life, as we knew it up until that moment, has just changed never to be life as we knew it again.

I do know that it gets better - no, that is not the right word. I do know that it gets less intense as time wears on - but I also know that in those first few months it sure as hell doesn't feel like it is going to.

I also know that the last thing you feel is as if Christmas is Merry - or even worth celebrating, & that the New Year that is unavoidably rushing towards you is scary. On the one hand it can't be as bad as the current one because the worst thing imaginable has already happened -  on the other hand it can't possibly be happy because you have lost a part of yourself.

One day, in the future Christmas won't seem quite as bleak for these friends as it does now. The happiness will start to sneak back in - but will always be tinged with a little sadness, & a longing for what once was, at this time of year. 

With that in mind, & rather than being too seasonally specific, I thought that the greeting

"Merry Everything and Happy Always" was rather fitting for the long term, on multiple levels.

Caroles Shortbread Step by Step

Originally published in December 2008 I'm reposting this recipe of Mum's (well technically it was Granny Battens) because a couple of people have asked for it.

It was always a favourite with friends & family, with many people requesting it if Mum offered to make them something for an occasion or event of some sort, often with the comment that no one else's shortbread had that same melt in the mouth texture or tasted as good.
The trick, according to Mum was truly in the texture of the dough & letting the bottom of the shortbread develop a light golden colour when cooking.

One of the things I miss is hearing Mum say "I have to make my Christmas shortbread this weekend"...& then reel off a list of all the people she was making some for.lol!

Let the baking begin!
Mum's 'basic' Shortbread recipe:

• 1/2 lb butter
• 2 1/2 cups standard flour
• 1 cup icing sugar
• 1/2 cup cornflour

When I saw Mum squinting at the scales I suggested that she actually wear her glasses.... then quickly took a photo of her when everything was mixing up. She has her shortbread recipe down to an art - & is more concerned with the correct texture than the exact amounts of anything.

Cream the softened butter, & icing sugar until light & fluffy, almost white. (Pour gin & tonic each whilst these are creaming away merrily.)

Gradually add the flour & cornflour, sifted together . Now when Mum says gradually - she means gradually & letting it mix in well between each addition (this gives you time to throw together some crackers & camembert to have with the G&T).

You may or may not use all of the flour, the important thing is to stop adding when you have a soft dough

that has just reached the stage where it no longer sticks to your mixer or fingers, if you pick up a bit & pinch it between them.



Have a sip of your G&T, & empty the dough onto a lightly floured surface & form into a log.

                               

Rolling, rolling, rolling until you have a whopper

Slice, not too thinly (Mum makes each slice about 10mm thick), & squeeze the log back into shape between each slice.
Place on a baking tray that is carefully being guarded by the G&T.

Place in an oven that has been preheated to 150 celsius - 300 fahrenheit for 30 minutes, checking from 20 minutes onwards - if the bottom is lightly golden, it's done! If the bottom is still pale it just doesn't taste the same.

Ahh the part I was waiting for, licking the mixer - a 40 something year old daughter who really only wanted to relive her childhood & see if licking the mixer was the best part of the whole process! Perhaps it's the second best thing - these days it seems that warm shortbread fresh out of the oven is the best part.

** This was my Grandmother's recipe & traditionally it was rolled flat, cut into squares, pinched at the corners & pricked a couple of times with the fork before being baked. I clearly recall 40 odd years ago watching Mum make it that way & it all sticking to the bench top & tearing when she went to put the spatula under it to remove it. With an exclamation of 'bother - there has got to be an easier way than this' she scooped up the lot rolled it into the log & started slicing , the method she uses today.

A link to the original post is below:
http://dabatt.blogspot.com.au/2008/12/christmas-carole-cooking.html

Impressions

I wonder, if we realised what all of those impressions we absorb as young children would mean to us later, whether we would take more notice at the time. Regardless of whether we did or not, somewhere in our sub consciousness while we are blithely playing our way through childhood many things imprint on our brain & later surface again. A sight, a scent, a sound & we are transported back.

Unsurprisingly some things make more of an impression than others.... there are some that we are not even aware of, or at least later on in life we can't pin point when that memory was imprinted. Christmas brought all of this home to me this year.

I'd bought a few stems of Lilium Regal - the Christmas Lily, here in New Zealand. It's scent is absolutely amazing. I have some growing in the garden for the first time ever but didn't want to cut the few I had so purchased some instead. 

For one reason or another over recent years I haven't had Christmas lilies in the house. I'm not sure why as I always used to have them - even if I did have to pinch the stamens out because my ex-husband complained they gave him hayfever. Unfortunately removing the stamens also removed the delicious scent, but since he was often away I'd leave pinching out the stamens until I absolutely had too.

The second I got those beauties into the house I was transported back in time & realised that, to me, this was the one thing that said "Christmas" more than anything else. A fragrance. In that moment the amazing spicy, heady, intoxicating scent of those Christmas lilies was the most wonderful thing on earth.

Because of my trip to Brisbane there was no tree this year, no other decorations - just those beautiful white lilies & they spoke "Christmas" more than anything else ever has in recent years & I suspect ever could. I can't recall whether Mum had them at Christmas time when I was really young, although I remember my Uncle & Aunt had them planted right along the side of his house for many years & that there was always a vase full inside at their place.

I was more than a little pleased when my oldest son commented on the scent of the lilies on Boxing Day - it seems that the imprint was made when he was younger too.

Absolutely Positively Christmas.

Growing in my garden.

An Almost Perfect Christmas

The lead up to Christmas this year was slightly different to our normal Christmas build up. A couple of decent earthquakes, a 5.8 & 6 magnitude accompanied by a swarm of aftershocks 2 days beforehand closed down malls & shops....right as I was about to head for them.

Sometimes procrastination is good - & believe me I had procrastinated all morning about heading to the Mall & doing all those last minute things, such as....well,  pretty much everything really! Gifts, food,  you name it. I hadn't bought anything apart from my nieces & nephews presents when I was in Australia.

My intention had been to get up early Friday morning & get the last of my gift shopping done before heading to the supermarket. But I faffed around answering emails, reading a tutorial & just putting it off in general & I wasn't even sure why. I'm so pleased I did!

Just as well  I came to the conclusion that Christmas will come regardless of whether I am ready or not a few years back, that it's not dependent on the trimmings & trappings or buying into the dreadful commercialism that it seems to have become.

Still, that doesn't stop me wanting to have the house looking a little like Christmas so this year, the first in many, I had splurged on a huge bunch of Christmas lilies & long stemmed red roses. Of course that was before I remembered that all of my vases had been broken in the February quakes - so then I had to splurge on a new vase (sorry honey, if you are reading this - I forgot to mention that part & the lilies didn't really look that great sitting in a blue plastic juice jug....).

More than anything I would have loved to have brought a really nice nativity set - but the only one I could find that fitted the image in my head had a price tag of $300.00+, so was somewhat prohibitive.

I did have plans of further table decorations, a lightly gold sprayed mossy branch hung with some small antique looking cream & gold angels that I have was to accompanied by a bird cage I had picked up in Australia that I had started decorating. Having to delay my shopping until the stores re-opened on Christmas Eve saw me run out of time to complete the mossy branch one.

Christmas Day came & it was wonderful. It was spent surrounded by family & I only say almost perfect as there were  two key members of the cast missing. The Mailleman, who is of course in Australia & Baby Boy who is deployed to parts that don't observe this particular celebration. I missed both of them dreadfully as well as missing the company of my daughter in law, Kerry, as she spent the day with her family.

It's more than a little strange to think that this is potentially my last Christmas in New Zealand.

That said, more than ever this made me realise what Christmas truly means to me. It's not about the trimmings & trappings or the decor. It's not about the food, the drink or the gifts - especially whether you get or give the latest techno gadget. It is certainly not about the mass commercialism that seems to increase with every year.

Quite simply it is about being surrounded by those you care about & remembering what the day is truly celebrating; Christ's Mass. I hope that yours was as blessed as mine was.

Trans Pacific Christmas Contrasts - Reveal!

Finally the time has come for the reveal in this the second of Mallory Hoffman's & my Artistic Challenges.

After our initial Artistic Challenge, Crush on Copper, we decided because of the time constraints that December brings (especially when you have a very important wedding taking place just 7 days before Christmas!!) we'd keep this months challenge simple.

The plan was that we'd highlight the extreme seasonal differences that our localities half a world apart afford us at Christmas time. You'd be surprised at the things you don't think of when you take the climate where you live for granted - the seemingly small differences that aren't due to any customs as such at all, but rather dictated by the weather as to what is available.

This summer, so far we have been blessed with incredible weather - so knowing that Christmas day was likely to be sunny & hot I focussed planning for our family Christmas to be primarily outdoors....& for the food to be kept simple in order that everyone could relax & enjoy themselves.

The weather came to the party providing us with a bright blue sky & fluffy white cotton balls...until about 9.30am when they had all but disappeared & leaving us with bright hot sun.

Just as well I had planned to borrow my brothers portable gazebo so the kids, big, small & 4 legged, had somewhere to play safely away from the harmful rays!

Those that had prepared the salads & desserts were quite happy to sit back & relax for a bit while others attended to the BBQ.

I truly do expect that this was the first time my wonderful sister in law Jackie had really sat down for longer than 5 minutes in the last month!

The array of salads - with a noodle salad on the far end (with a dressing that is to die for!!). Next to that was the most delicious Potato Salad prepared by the former 'terrible teen'& budding chef, Michaela! Mum's stuffing which is an absolute must, & the pièce de résistance of any event that I can manage to get her to make it for resides firmly at the centre of attention, even with BBQ'd meats! A fresh lettuce salad & a lovely Pasta salad finished off the array.

It was kind of cool that the lettuces & cabbage were picked fresh out of our garden that morning.

The meat maestro's at work - my beautiful new daughter in law Kerry, & my eldest son Jeremy.

Offering refreshment to the vege garden!!

Jackie's wonderful Pavlova with fresh berries on top...

Fresh fruit salad

For us the Christmas celebration runs over two days. December 26th, Boxing Day, is also my Mum's Birthday. This year she turned a sprightly 73 years young. While the family were together again on Boxing Day a few of us took the chance to go to the beach together. It was an overcast day & a little cooler than the day before - but the beach was calm & wonderful. Even if we did take a 10 kilometre round walk through Bottle Lake Plantation.....

The grandpuppies enjoyed it too....

I cheated & finally decorated the tree on Christmas eve, mainly because I wanted it to feel like Christmas for my nieces & nephew. May I add right here that around 11pm on Christmas eve is a darn bad time to discover that the light set you chose out of the three available & which you didn't check before you put them on the tree, aren't working.....

More in keeping with this Christmas theme would have been this, a Feijoa in flower.

Maybe that is an idea for next year :)

As I mentioned in my previous post, this was a blessed Christmas. Surrounded by all those that I love meant more to me than anything - it also offered up a wonderful surprise. But more about that later!!

A Blessed Christmas

No material gift could be better than the gift of spending Christmas day surrounded by the people in your life whom you love. Not a single thing.

The spirit of Christmas simply can not be bought in a store. Yesterday as I watched older cousins interact with the younger ones, a brother & a sister in law work together at the BBQ, fathers & sons setting up a gazebo, an Aunt & her niece figuring out a new cell phone & everyone scurrying around in between preparing food I counted my blessings - all 16 of them, family & extended family.

We kept the food & preparation simple & the shared workload light. It allowed us all time to enjoy one another.

Gabriela made me some beautiful candles as a Christmas present & Christmas night we watched TV by candle light.It was a perfect end to a beautiful day.

Time Heals

I was kind of hoping that yesterday would slip past in the rush of getting ready for the wedding this weekend. It didn't though. With Dad's passing so close to Christmas & happening on the day in between his brothers & oldest grandsons birthdays it's not likely that it will ever truly 'slip by'. 
Instead yesterday,  more than ever, I missed my Dad's presence in this world & mourned the fact that he isn't here to see his younger grandson Kieran get married this weekend to the lovely Kerry, or to see my oldest son celebrate his 33rd Birthday today. I wish he was here to see so many things in this wonderful expanding family of mine.

As I looked at the star sprinkled sky last night & marvelled once again how incredibly beautiful it was I knew that Dad, who always had such a great appreciation for the simple things in life (along with a decent red wine!), wouldn't want me to be sad. ... & that was why I chose to read Mary Frye's "Do Not Stand at my Grave and Weep"  at his funeral. Sometimes we just need to remind ourselves.

I guess that trying to compose my speech for the wedding is bringing back memories of four years ago too. Then again Dad would have been the one that I asked to speak.
Oh yeah - I can see the twinkle in his eye so clearly now, as his mind would have progressed through all the possible tales he could have told about Kieran to a captive audience. He would have had such fun with that!!

I'm absolutely loving this song, so I thought I'd share.

Trans Pacific Christmas Contrasts

In these days of almost instant everything, including contact with people half a world away, it's easy to forget that a wee pond called the Pacfic Ocean separates New Zealand & the USA by 9600km (6000 miles).

Two Western countries, culturally very similar & alike in many ways - but so very different in others. Not least of all the fact that we are seasonal opposites.

Never are the seasonal differences more obvious than at Christmas time. The early settlers to New Zealand brought all of their European traditions with them but over the years they adapted & evolved. I guess the lack of snow in Summer may have forced that issue somewhat ;)

For this months artistic growth challenge Mallory Hoffman (Rosebud101) & I have decided to compile photo journals of those Christmas contrasts.

I've never experienced a white Christmas although I grew up knowing of them as that was the stuff of my Mum's childhood. I well remember the very  traditional English Christmas dinners - roast turkey, roast ham, roast potatoes,  green beans, corn, carrots, stuffing, cranberry sauce & gravy - Christmas pudding, fruit mince pies, trifle, brandy sauce, cream & ice cream. Everyone used to fall alseep mid afternoon after that lot....well,  the adults did & the kids had FUN!

Then somehow new potatoes &  kumara (sweet potatoes) snuck in, someone decided they didn't like turkey that much & it got replaced with chicken, the hams became cold hams..how about a salad with that, it's too hot for all those roast veges.  Before you knew it fresh fruit salad & Pavlova started replacing the trifle &  then; "Oh the heck with it lets have a BBQ & make things easy". You get the picture...

Of course food isn't the only difference - but you'll have to wait until the reveal on the 27th December, 2010 to see the rest of the differences between the way Christchurch New Zealand & Minnesota, USA ( a mere 13,221km or 8216 miles apart) celebrate the holiday season.

Lets see what  Mallory has to say about this challenge by visiting her blog!

Ok - I lied, here's another sneak peek.....

Christmas Countdown

New Zealand's Pohutukawa tree - because of the fact it flowers at Christmas it is now known as the Kiwi Christmas Tree.

Well I have to do something that is remotely 'Christmassy' - so I figured some images of things that us Kiwi's associate with Christmas might be in order. I look at the blogs of others & they are resplendent with images that I associate with my Mum's tales of a white northern hemisphere Christmas.

You know this 'heat lovin' southern hemisphere chick almost feels kind of envious!

Over the years New Zealand has taken on it's own Christmas icons, even whilst retaining a lot of the northern hemisphere traditions bought here from the United kingdom by our fore bearers. We still have the traditional turkey, cake & fruit mince pies, Christmas pudding & brandy sauce, trifle, eggnog, Christmas crackers, & always, always a batch (or two or three) of buttery shortbread. Then there's the traditional Christmas tree, although I did see one not so long ago decorated entirely in brightly coloured miniature flip flops!!

Some of it has always seemed rather incorrigible in the southern hemisphere sunshine & heat - with not much likelihood of snow & no need for wonderful roaring open fires, so many traditions have evolved. My memories as a child consist of a bunch of tanned youngsters spending all the time they could at the beach or in a pool swimming, many picnics & numerous family outings. We sat down long enough to eat dinner....if forced!

Fresh Fruit Salad - almost like mine!

These days a lot of Kiwi's now have BBQ's instead of the traditional dinner, years ago we replaced turkey with chicken (my fault - turkey is not something I have ever enjoyed that much) & glazed ham.... I don't like that either, but hey I'm content with chicken & Mum's stuffing! With too much of the heavier winter fare not sitting well on warm summer days, desserts often consist fresh fruit salads, & pavlovas - although I have yet to see a Christmas without the pudding & more often than not the trifle as well, albeit a lighter version.

Ahhh Kiwi Christmases can be a real blend of the old & the new.

A Real Kiwi Pavlova

Now Australia likes to lay claim to having invented the Pavlova - while searching around for a good description (instead of just saying an 'over sized meringue') I found this:

“The pavlova is an Australian or New Zealand dessert, a single-layered meringue cake with a crisp crust and soft, marshmallow centre, topped with whipped cream and fruit. The confection was popularised when the Russian ballerina Anna Pavlova toured Australasia in 1925. Whether the final perfecting and naming of the cake was the achievement of Australians or New Zealanders is a matter of national rivalry. One explanation of the pavlova’s origins is that a West Australian chef found a recipe in a New Zealand women’s magazine and adapted it – an explanation which happily gives each country its own piece of the cake.”

Sorry – but this just tickles me. It has long since been established that the first published recipe for it was found in a New Zealand cookbook. So given the fact that this states it was published magazine…the real question is “should there even be any debate?” – lol! The aussie's at best might have re-named it ......