Sunday, October 31, 2010


Some weeks just ought to be skipped. Yep, we should have a fast forward button & be able to forward ourselves right past them without the merest hint of acknowledgement. Or perhaps not.
As humans we hopefully grow from all that we encounter on our path through life & more importantly we learn from them.

I've always told my kids to try & find a career that they love. Find something that ignites that spark & inspires a passion within you & just follow it.  I can imagine few greater joys in life than to get paid for something that you really love doing, that you wake up & can't wait to get to every day. In fact I don't have to imagine it as I had such a job once. I actually got paid to be surrounded by wonderful original art & get to know some hugely talented artists during my 'work' day....imagine that!

I well know how blessed I was as it seems that so very few people that work for an employer feel that way & simply go to work in order to make a living enjoying some aspects of their job but not ever truly passionate about it as a whole. And that is where I am now...or rather was!

A week ago I was laid off, or as they term it here "my position was made redundant",  from my small part time job . I wasn't surprised, it is so quiet at work, but I was a little concerned & upset as to what the change in finances would mean.

Prior to this I had just learned that I need glasses. Don't get me wrong,  I've always loved glasses & have no problem with having wear them. I own 4 pairs of sunglasses & 3 pairs of hobby glasses, & dare I say it, but there have been more than just a few times in the past that I have thought I'd like to get some trendy frames & just have clear glass put in them to wear because they look so cool! I just didn't need the added expense right now & that was before being laid off.

To add insult to injury I went & sat at the torch for the first time since the earthquake & discovered that my kiln isn't heating up. Half way through my first bead I was already having ideas of what I wanted to do next....until I opened the kiln to put the bead in & realised that it hadn't ramped up. Somehow realising that my kiln wasn't going put everything else into perspective. 

Although I haven't really been called to torch since that little shake up & it's incessant aftershocks (read: a bit afraid), there is nothing quite like wanting to do something & not being able to do it that reignites that initial spark of passion.
Quite simply I realised what I am passionate about; creating & the process of creating. Whether it is melting glass, etching & bashing metal into shape, planning or planting a garden, knitting, needlework, painting,  doodling with intent (more on that later!!) - I need to be creating.

The truth of it was that I hadn't enjoyed going to work for some time. I didn't like working at the job just on a Saturday as there was no continuity & each week it was as if you had to start anew. I was uninspired by the job itself as there were no challenges. The worst part was that because I wasn't given the opportunity to utilise my unique skill set learned in my original gallery job, I was bored to distraction.
And I loathe the word bored! But there you have it. Passion certainly isn't found in being bored &, if I think about it, who on earth wants to get paid for being bored? It's just not worth what it does to your psyche.

So what have I learned from this?
If I live to create, then I can create to live.

While waiting to find out what is wrong with my kiln I've bought some air dry clay to play with.

Now all that remains is which spectacle frames I should choose - what do you think?


Sharon Driscoll said...

I'm grooving on the second pair! Are the sides kind of tortoise? The post is wonderful Deb, but sorry about the job. Create your buns off - Air dry clay is great - have you tried polymer clay? Toaster ovens are cheap. Draw, draw, draw! How about doing some great collages or learning some new photoshop techniques while you are waiting for the kiln repair. You go girl!

angelinabeadalina said...

I'm sorry about the feeling you have to endure when you get notice you're being laid off-- but I'm not sorry this has made you focus on creating things! You are amazing at everything you put your hand to, Deb, and I can't wait to see some of your clay creations.
As for the glasses, you can carry off either worries :-)

Patty said...

You're FREE!!! Free to create in your amazing way, and I can't wait to see what you do. Don't look back, no regrets, just go for it.

I like the second pair. :-)