Thursday, May 01, 2008

Only 12 Days

Good grief - what's this? No two year gaps between posts?? Something must've happened ;o)

Well something needed to happen - that's for real! So instead of waiting for things in my world to come right - I made an executive decision & gave them a quiet nudge.
A little over two weeks ago I handed my resignation in at my 'paid employment' - i.e the "Awesome Gallery" mentioned in my profile .....that had become somewhat less than awesome.

I knew it was dragging me down - little did I realise how much.

Talking to someone very special some time ago who encouraged me to take a "leap of faith" made me think..... although obviously not enough at the time to do so with any degree of faith. For months I battled within trying to figure how I could afford to give up the money - my only means of funding my affair with glass.

The "what if's" kept clouding my brain & a huge fear of finally having found something I was passionate about only to not be able to afford it would take over.
The same special person had also advised me about it not being a leap of fear.

On December 17th I had typed up my resignation - ready to hand in in the New Year. On January 2nd I reworded some of it & printed it out. I was quite determined, until I found out that the framer was going to leave & felt some misplaced loyalty about not leaving my bosses in the lurch.

In hindsight at that point it would still have been a leap of fear.

Who knows what happened in the interim - I do know that whenever I mentioned it to my Mum or anyone else, apart from Allan, I was greeted with negative comments about having to find another job first.

I also know that every time I sat at the torch I'd get tense & angry - so much would spin around in my head. Sometimes though, not very often, I'd hear a quite voice - one that was telling me that he wished I could see myself with new eye's. Obviously that quiet voice was always there, just at times I didn't hear it - because something subtly & gradually shifted, without me even being aware.

On Monday 14th April I decided with certainty that I was going to hand my notice in & did so two days later. To be honest I really didn't give any thought at all to what I was going to do - or if it would it work. There wasn't a single "what if" in my head - the only thoughts were that I was going to put what I wanted to do before anything else... the world was my oyster if only I would take that leap.

So leap I did - with faith!

Last night I celebrated my lack of "paid employment" - which in reality is my freedom to be me - with some sinfully expensive oysters ;o)

This is one journey I am looking forward too - want to buckle up & come along for the ride?

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